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unsent letter 2 [03 Aug 2010|02:14am]
you know what. though i'll never get over you. i'll be fine. if i dont have you, i'll be fine. there's so many other great fish in the sea.

i dont know why you're the only one i ever felt so strongly for thus far in my life, and in the 4 years it's been since I met you.
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Unsent letter-Will delete soon [03 Aug 2010|01:49am]
You give me a glimpse of hope. And then, you contradict yourself, contradict the very words that gave me hope. You were with some one else 2, 3 years. You can wait for me, too. I've loved you 4 years. Did you think of me when you were with her? You think of me now, but why? Because you know, with the little hints I give, that I still feel for you? Did you and do you feel anything like what I feel for you? Is it so deep, so intense, so real, so crazy, euphoric, ecstatic, elation? I want to know that.

But I'm not the girl I was back then. I was 110-115 lbs. So confident. I knew I made hearts stop. Now, I'm surprised when I do. And I have to be that girl again before I'll see you again.

And you dont know that, so you wonder why I drag this on, what I'm waiting for, why I make you wait, to see me, to talk to me again. Probably. If you even care, but I think you did/do, by what you said when I said (yes to those of you reading-- this was said on Facebook if you cant tell) "I dont know how to give up on this dream.." you said dont give up, dreams are what make life fun. Never having commented/"liked" or messaged me on Facebook in the few months we've been FB friends.

If I make you wait, will the feelings dwindle, dissipate? But there's no other option.
And they dont for me. Still intense as ever.
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[03 Aug 2010|01:28am]

I might have to leave the vegan  communities until the juice fasting is over because they talk about and post delicious recipes like this--http://www.cestlavegan.com/2010/07/mushroom-pate/.

No good. So yeah. Just wanted to post that for after I'm done fasting.
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[03 Aug 2010|01:03am]
Cleaned kitchen and bathroom today.
In addition to Tae Bo, dancing and yoga, I did 20 squats and 25 sit ups.

Planning to do more sit ups and some leg exercises as the night goes on.

Happy though I know I'm starting my period soon and am having the sadness that I do at this time of every month.
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[02 Aug 2010|07:17pm]
Starting raw vegan, smoothies and juice mostly tomorrow. 
Meant to but felt like crap when I woke up this morning from having a couple cookies late last night, and a baked potato for dinner. Yuck. No more. Vegan hence forth. 

Lots and lots of reasons to lose weight in the next month and before September 20th. So here we go!! :D

Been doing yoga every day. A lot of dancing. Did Tae Bo, the basic, today for 30 min (the length of the entirety of the Basic) working up to the advanced. And working up to advanced yoga.
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[31 Jul 2010|04:12pm]
 Been awake for 2 hours, and already 650 cals. Eye opening. 
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[31 Jul 2010|02:33am]

I'm going to do 30 days 100% raw, with lots of juice.
Then, 100% juice.


I wanna check this chick out. She's pretty effin cool. -----
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[31 Jul 2010|01:54am]
Exercised  A LOT today.

I am going to start counting calories.
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[30 Jul 2010|12:39am]

Clean room
Juice and be raw vegan!!
Submit whatever applications I can over the web
Get camera working
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[30 Jul 2010|12:36am]
Doing ok. Had very very little raw to eat. Hadnt went to the grocery in awhile. Just loaded back up and so excited. Got lots of rawness!! And I'm taking almost every opportunity to exercise.
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[27 Jul 2010|01:17am]
Today was awesome until around 8 when the family ordered some pizza. Tomorrow is a new day!! I wont be too hard on myself.. that was a mistake I made too much in the past.

Woke up felt like crap so didnt do anything at all all day. So, same goals for tomorrow!
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Tomorrow [26 Jul 2010|12:35am]

Start Juice Fast
Clean Room
Review Script for Job
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[23 Jul 2010|02:03am]
I want to start waking up earlier every morning and doing yoga every morning.

Also want to start submitting poetry to literary magazines and journals.
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[22 Jul 2010|06:17pm]
 Is it just me or does Livejournal seem to be dying out???!?!??!?!!  

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[22 Jul 2010|05:43pm]
2 cups of coffee w/ 1/4 c. almond milk each & 2 tsp. sugar each

Handful of blueberries
Smoothie of 1 banana, blueberries, handful of spinach
1 tomato, 1 avocado
1 handful of pecans

20 oz of water 

Aerobic exercise for 20 min. (Man, I'm so out of shape.)

I'm not going to eat anything else today. 

Going to work on cleaning my room and plan to do 20 more min of aerobic exercise.
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[20 Jul 2010|01:15pm]
Did some yoga.
Drinking more water.
Made some juices.
Drinking smoothies.

Had job interview. Think it went well.

Been reading.


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Goals/To Do List [18 Jul 2010|01:04am]
Get a job
Enroll in college

Exercise more
Drink more water
Eat vegan
Eat less cooked food, more raw
Drink more freshly made juices (mostly vegetable)

Wake up earlier
Clean up room

Get camera working

Read every day
Do something artistic every day
Do yoga every day

Learn new things: hemp jewelry, languages...

Make new friendships, build on the ones I have

Submit to writing contests and literary publications
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[13 Jul 2010|06:45pm]
I've been out of school two months now, and I havent been able to get a job yet. I've turned into a slug. I hardly do anything ever. And I'm not depressed. I've just gotten in this pattern, it's habit. I'm sure I've gained weight. I lost some, and I'm sure I've gained it back because I havent been able to stick to doing anything for more than a few days. I'm really really fed up with myself and this.
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[20 Jun 2010|10:31pm]
Alright, today:

miso soup
grilled veggies
fried tofu


not too great. but, I went for a walk..
I'll do better tomorrow.
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[18 Jun 2010|02:59am]
 Been a while. Been eating healthy on and off.

Majorly motivated to get vegan, raw and fasting.
Was raw all day today, then got a hankering late at night for some blueberry muffins. 
Have realized more and more recently how much craving things is actually more satisfying than the satisfaction of fulfilling the craving.

Have gotten out of shape since I've been out of school a month now. 
Been doing a little yoga, a little walking, went roller skating once, gone to the club a few times.

Am very, very motivated. 

I'm back, baby!! :D
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